Knowing Our Worth as Black Women by Dr. Keisha Pitt
Not knowing our worth is a huge problem in the black community. It causes us to choose the wrong people to be involved with, causes us to accept lower paying jobs with lower salaries. We basically get our worth from our appearance - or what the outside world sees.
Here are the most common: through our children, the man we are with, our career, our looks More specifically what many of us do is we just allow the guy to pick us without considering what we want. Before we know it, we have children by them and then we feel stuck. We then look for our worth by different things such as through our children. Once our children leave the nest we realize then that the person we married isn’t exactly who we wanted for ourselves so we divorce. Another scenario that occurs is once our children don’t need us as much anymore, we either want to have another child or start getting depressed.
Knowing your worth and practicing it will not come over night. It is important to know where we stand before we can improve on what is lacking. Here are a few questions to ask ourselves to get started.
Who am I?
-Many of us will tend to say I’m a mom, wife, daughter, those kind of things. But go deeper. For example I am a health pioneer, a runner. In other words try to think of things outside family and career.
What are my goals?
-Here again you should try to think of things outside of just family and career. For example one of my goals in life is to get the courage to go skydiving.
Would you date yourself?
If your answer is no, why?
Before getting into another relationship complete the action in “Choosing the right man” article. This task will help you know your worth so you don’t settle for less. Another task that you should try is the next time you interview for a position write down the amount of money that you would be willing to take per year and biweekly. To come up with this number do some research on average income for that position in your area. Look at the qualifications for the position and be very honest with yourself. Do you barely qualify, are you under qualified, or are you over qualified? If you barely qualify or are under qualifying you have to make sure you stand out at the interview.
The next task that you should do may seem a little odd, but it works. Go into the bathroom and get completely naked, no makeup, hair not done and look at yourself. For many of us it may take is just a few seconds before we become critical of ourselves, others may take a little longer. Each time you do these tell yourself out loud I am an intelligent, beautiful, worthy black woman. You should get to the point in which looking at yourself brings positive thoughts. This task will help you view yourself in a more vulnerable state without the added external things. It will empower you to love yourself.
These tips are just a few things that will help you discover your worth. Remember none of us are perfect but we are worth more than what we give ourselves credit for. We all have unique talents and ideas. Go forth with confidence, you are an amazing, worthy black woman.