In American society being a black woman comes with perceived baggage the moment we are born. We are considered last in status, social ladder, and job salary. On top if it all we are battling stereotype over stereotype. I’ve heard it all.
We emasculate our men, we are angry, we don’t exercise, and the list goes on. Being a black woman also comes with the notion that we are supposed to be able to do everything on our own, AKA, the “Strong Black Woman”. The “Strong Black Woman” notion is a myth. We cannot do everything under the sun, and we shouldn’t feel like we need to. Your husband or partner has a role just as you have specific role and responsibilities. This notion of doing everything yourself hurts the black family. Men can then skirt their responsibilities onto the strong black woman. This is a dangerous place for black women to take on everything in this society. You cannot take care of your children, work several jobs, and take care of yourself at 100%. One of these areas will be neglected one way or another. Instead as a black woman what we should realize is we are human, we do not have super hero strengths. All we can do is allow men do to their job and we do ours.
The family structure ideally should comprise of the husband, wife, and children. In order for a household to run efficiently each family member must know and express their individual roles. It is important to note first that you must choose your spouse with much thought. Meaning if you don’t trust the decisions your husband makes he may not be a good fit. Why? A man’s responsibility is to make the best decision for the family. If he does not have the qualities of a good decision maker you may end up taking on this role which wasn’t meant for you. If you take on this role there isn’t much left for your husband to do and you may also neglect some portions of your role. Thus a husband’s job is to take care of his wife, and a wife’s job is to take care of her husband, and together they take care of their children. Specifically as a wife and a mother my role is to nurture, be the emotional support, and stand behind my husband. I trust that he will make the best decisions for our family. So there is no confusion on who does what. Consequently ladies if you have a man man allow him to take care of his responsibilities so that you can take care of yours.